For years I have often said, "I want to live a life worthy of a blog." By this I ment I want to live a life that is significant, meaningful, and if people were to read my blog they would be able to feel the love of God through it. One of my all time favorite books,
Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot, gave me insight as to why I love to read other blogs. Throughout
Passion and Purity Elizabeth uses her own personal journals from years long gone to share about her life journey. One of her journals she titled "an omer of manna". It is inspiring to read from it after knowing why she titiled it that. She title her journal in that way based on the scripture Exodus 16:32 - "This is what the LORD has commanded: ‘Take an omer of manna and keep it for the generations to come, so they can see the bread I gave you to eat in the wilderness when I brought you out of Egypt.’” Elizabeth wished for her journal to bring encouragement just as a reminder of manna would, that God always provides, always protects, and never leaves. The manna and journal serve as a guide showing where they were and how far God had brought them.
As I venture into a new stage of life, a new adventure, and one where I can do nothing but hold onto God and trust all that I have in Him, I have felt a nudging that now is when I need to begin sharing the manna that God is ever faithful to provide for me. Now after the explanation as to why I feel the need to blog you may wonder, "Whats with the blog name then?, why not use the name that Elizabeth did?" ...I will admit that had always been what I thought I would name a blog when I started one.
However, lately God has spoke conviction so vividly through the John 9 story that I knew I wanted my blog to have this title and this web address so that I would constantly be reminded how I am to follow Him the moment I hear His voice. John 9 begins with the story of Jesus healing a blind man by spiting in the dirt, making mud, putting mud on the man's eyes, telling the man to go to the Pool of Siloam, wash the mud away, and see -- for the first time ever. At first thought of reading this story I think, well of course the man would wlecome Jesus to put spit-mud on his eyes and then listen straight away and go wash. But then again I don't think that may have been the case.
The reason this blind man was brought to Jesus' attention was as an object lesson. The ones walking with and learning from Jesus saw the blind man doing the only thing he could, beg. They then turned this man's life and situation into an object lesson, asking Jesus theological questions about the man. Jesus, of course, sees the blind man as more then just an object. However, this man must already feel humiliation of being used as an object lesson and to make matters worse a man just spit in dirt - put the spit-mud on his eyes - and gave him instructions to go to a pool and wash the mud off. Did you get that?...Jesus didn't offer to wash the mud away Himself, He didn't offer to take the man to the pool, He didn't even offer another person to help him get there. He just told the man to go.
I would love to know the parts left out of this story -- did the blind man question Jesus? did he complain about having spit-mud on his eyes? how did he get to the Pool of Siloam? But we're not told about those things. What we are told is that the man went to the Pool of Siloam and washed and for the first time in his life -- he was able to see! We're also told that the word Siloam means
sent. Jesus called the blind man to go to
sent. Just as He calls us, me and you, to live a
sent life. We are called to be sent yes, but that doesn't mean I'll always be able to see. I may be blind for a while on my journey in getting to the Pool of Siloam. But just as Jesus said the blind man was blind in order that the power of God could be seen in him, there is a reason and purpose for blindness on my own journey.
For those of you who do not know the whole story -- now is a time in my journey where I completely feel the blindness. In a whirlwind of less then a month I have gone from moving out of Toledo and subsitute teaching to staying in Toledo and being a thrid grade teacher. While I feel so overly blessed to actually have a teaching job it has also been incredibly trying. There are so many factors going into the crazy story of my current job, the pressing ones that have left me the most blinded are, not having a permenent class of students until last Tuesday and the battle of not having the majority of my curriculum. I have been(and am being) tried and am so thankful for the daily reminders that friends and family offer that I was put in that specific classroom to be a light to those specific students. I am blinded of the knowledge of exactly how I will accomplish what I need to with my students, and even what a daily schedule will look like. However, in the sotry of the blind man I am encouraged that I donot need to know how its going to happen, I simply need to be willing to listen and trust and follow where I am called though I am blind for the moment.
"As I lie in bed, I remember you;
all night long I think of you,
You have always been my help.
In the shadow of your wings I sing for joy.
I cling to you, and your hand keeps me safe."
Pslam 63:6-8
